Not to be a downer, but what they never tell you about funerals and the aftermath is that there is an order of operations of how to plan and pull of the event in very little time. Afterwards, you're kind of on your own for figuring out what to do next in terms of thank-you notes, travel plans, and estate woes. In other words, it's a giant administrative and emotional puzzle. My beloved half-brother, George, was amazing in bringing up all sorts of tasks that needed to be done. Sometimes, I'd relent and do whatever needed to be done in the moment because it was urgent and important. But more often than not, I'd have to say:
"Yeah, okay, but I'm not there yet."
What I like about this phrase is that it acknowledges what needs to be done (as opposed to denying it) and then gently kicks the can down the road in the service of something more pressing. It's okay to not do everything at once all the time. It's okay to punt some things to another date and time.
It's okay to defer.
All too often in our internet-flooded age, we become easily distracted, seduced by illusions that "I need to do/buy/say/post/respond to this now!"
It's exhausting. I hate it.
Too much overstimulation erodes focus, creates overwhelm, and minimizes quality of life. Deliberately procrastinating some items allows us to do two things: 1) at a later time, we can decide if things are really important, and 2) allows us a little more headspace. (And who doesn't need that?).
Something to think about as the holiday season begins.